Why is it important to use someone's correct pronouns?

Using correct pronouns is fundamentally about respect and recognition of who someone is, costing nothing but meaning everything to them as a basic form of human decency.

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Why should I use someone's preferred pronouns even if it feels grammatically wrong?▶

Using someone's preferred pronouns is fundamentally about respect and human dignity rather than grammatical correctness. Research consistently shows that using correct pronouns for transgender and non-binary individuals significantly improves their mental health and wellbeing, whilst misgendering can cause genuine psychological harm. Language naturally evolves to meet social needs, and pronouns have been adapting throughout history. The effort required to learn and use someone's preferred pronouns is minimal compared to the significant positive impact on their sense of belonging and emotional wellbeing.

Do I have to use someone's preferred pronouns and name?▶

Using someone's preferred pronouns and name is considered a fundamental aspect of respectful human interaction according to research and professional guidelines. Studies show that being recognised by chosen names and pronouns contributes significantly to wellbeing and mental health. Professional organisations across various sectors have established guidelines emphasising this practice as standard respectful treatment of individuals' identity and personal autonomy, representing more than just politeness but basic human dignity.

What should I do if I accidentally use the wrong pronouns?▶

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What impact does misgendering have on mental health?▶

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Dr Helen Webberley, Gender Specialist and Medical Educator
www.helenwebberley.com

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Why is it important to use someone's correct pronouns?

Using someone's correct pronouns is fundamentally about respect and recognition of who they are. It is not your decision what name and pronouns somebody uses - it is their decision, and respecting that choice is essential human decency.

When someone tells you their pronouns, you are being given information about their identity. This is their knowledge to share, not yours to question or override. Assuming someone's gender based on physical characteristics or birth assignment ignores their actual identity and lived experience.

The profound impact on mental health and wellbeing

Using correct pronouns significantly improves mental health outcomes for transgender and non-binary individuals, whilst misgendering causes genuine psychological harm. Being consistently recognised through correct pronouns validates someone's identity and reduces the distressing experience of having their authentic self denied or dismissed. This recognition is particularly vital for young people, whose sense of self is developing and who may already face significant challenges in other areas of their lives.

It costs nothing but means everything

Respecting someone's pronouns requires minimal effort from you but represents profound acknowledgement of their identity. When you use someone's correct pronouns, you are demonstrating that you see them for who they truly are rather than making assumptions based on external factors. This simple act of recognition can be transformative in someone's daily experience of feeling accepted and understood.

Personal autonomy and human dignity

You are not in a position to decide whether someone is a boy or girl, man or woman. That knowledge belongs to them. Using correct pronouns acknowledges fundamental human autonomy - the right of individuals to define and express their own identity. This principle extends beyond transgender experiences to basic respect for how any person wishes to be addressed and recognised in the world.

Dr Helen Webberley and her team understand the vital importance of affirming healthcare that recognises each person's authentic identity. If you need support with gender-related healthcare or guidance on supporting someone in your life, professional help is available.