Why do I feel different about my gender from other kids?

Feeling different about your gender is completely normal and part of human diversity. There is nothing wrong with you - you're simply noticing something important about yourself, and many other children feel the same way.

Read the full answer

Ask Sammy

Dr Webberley's AI assistant — ask anything about this topic

What Sammy can help with▾

Watch Helen talk about this▾

▶

Children expressing their gender identity in their own words

0:30

▶

Children speaking up and the immediate dismissal

0:30

▶

Children know their own mind - you should just ask them

1:00

People also ask▾

What should I do if my child says they feel like a different gender?▶

Listen to your child with love and support, create a safe accepting environment at home, and seek professional guidance from gender specialists who can help your family navigate this important journey together.

Why might puberty feel scary for a trans young person?▶

Puberty can feel frightening for transgender young people because their body develops in ways that feel wrong or distressing to them. When a young person knows they are a different gender from the one assigned at birth, physical changes during puberty can make the disconnect between their internal gender identity and external appearance more pronounced. This misalignment often leads to significant psychological distress, as irreversible changes may feel like their body is moving further from their authentic self. Professional support can help families navigate these challenges.

How can parents support a gender-questioning child?▶

Read the full answer →

When should I seek professional help for gender concerns?▶

Read the full answer →

Dr Helen Webberley, Gender Specialist and Medical Educator
www.helenwebberley.com

Still have questions? Ask Sammy

Why do I feel different about my gender from other kids?

Feeling different about your gender from other children is a completely normal part of human diversity. When you were born, a doctor looked at your body and made a guess about what gender you would be, but sometimes that guess doesn't match who you really are inside. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you if you feel this way - it simply means you are noticing something important about yourself.

You Are Not Alone

You are certainly not the only child who feels this way. There are many children like you all around the world who feel different about their gender. Just like some people are naturally good at maths or football, or feel shy in groups, some children feel different about their gender identity. This is part of what makes you beautifully unique, and it's just another part of the wonderful diversity that exists among people.

Understanding These Feelings

When you feel different about your gender, it might mean that the gender you were assigned at birth doesn't feel right for you. This can create a sense of not fitting in with other children who seem comfortable with their assigned gender. These feelings are valid and important. Your internal sense of who you are matters, and it's perfectly normal for this to develop and become clearer as you grow.

It's Nothing That Needs Fixing

Feeling different about your gender doesn't mean you are broken or need to be fixed. Gender diversity is a natural part of human experience, and there are many ways to be a person in this world. Your feelings about your gender are real and deserve to be taken seriously. What matters most is that you feel safe and supported as you explore and understand these feelings about yourself.

If you're experiencing these feelings, it can help to talk to a trusted adult like a parent, teacher, or counsellor who can provide support and guidance. Dr Helen Webberley and other gender specialists work with young people and families to provide understanding and help navigate these important feelings with care and expertise.